Starry Wisdom

Entropic Words from Neilathotep

Tuesday, June 1, 2004

It’s amazing humans have survived so long

I somehow came across this weird letter. Here are some key bits:

Do you and your readers know that poor male hygiene is the main cause of female genitourinary (GU) problems?

You may be surprised to learn that most of this pain and suffering is related to diseases caused by common germs–bacteria, viruses, and fungi–that are introduced into the vagina by the penis during sexual intercourse. We humans work with an incredible variety of materials each day: We count money, we pick our nose, we shake hands. When males urinate, they inevitably grasp their penis with their hands, and deposit all the germs collected throughout the day.

To test my theory, an epidemiologist, a pathologist, and I collaborated on a study. We examined the bacterial content of the surface of the penis in 100 men. The results confirmed my theory. Every penis harbored one or more colonies of bacteria (eg, Enterococci, Staphylococci, a-he-molytic Streptococci, Escherichia coli, Micrococci), and many different types of fungi. It isn’t a great leap to imagine that any one of these organisms could be introduced into a partner’s vagina during sex.

The solution is simple: If men want to keep their wives or girlfriends healthy, they must keep their private parts–that is, their penis–clean! They must wash their hands thoroughly before urinating, before touching their penis! Otherwise, they should consider themselves dirty and wash their private parts before engaging in sexual intercourse. In addition, they should keep their underwear clean. Properly used condoms, besides protecting males from the great majority of germs, will also protect their sex partners from unwanted pregnancy, STDs, and, just as important, those pesky, ubiquitous germs described in this letter.

How the heck have humans managed to survive over the past 50,000 or more years without this advice!?

posted by neil at 11:02 pm
under Uncategorized  

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